Brady
"Im going to eat your Reeses then leave the island"
Whitney to Griff after bringing their parents to Hawaii and leaving them.
Thats what you get for fucking side fumbling
Griff telling Aidan to do the dishes moments after he spilled OJ on the carpet.
Do it long
Aidan wanting his backrub to last longer
He likes to watch boobs
Mom about dad loving the halftime show
"I will flush you!"
Griff
"If seething happens to me before dinner, the pies are in the trunk of the car"
Grandma Carol on Christmas Day
The beater tried to hang itself
While using an electric beater to mix dense cookie dough, the beaters start laboring, making odd noises and smoking. Grandma stops the beaters and sees the cord is caught in the beaters and says...
You don't know, it could have been a double murder homicide
Whitney
I feel like I was put in an orphanage
Pat
"Put your big boy pants on and take a painting class"
Griff
"Go pretend to be good somewhere else."
Griff, while Aidan was running imaginary basketball plays in front of the television.
"All I'm saying is, you guys have never engaged in illegal behavior before. So I think the first time should be with your dad."
Griff responding to claims that Aidan and Keelan should not take part in illegally dumping dog shit on the neighbor's front porch.
It looks like he is wearing a diaper, well it wouldn't look like that if he had any ass! It looks like you have balls in the back, actually It looks more like an udder.
The family discussing Aidan's fashion sweatpants
I thought I heard something crackling
After pulling a 6" piece of tape out of grandmas face/hair
"I heard the toilet"
Aidan after Keelan questioned why he entered the restroom instantaneously after Keelan flushed.
Could you Stop doing what you normally do everyday?
Griff to Aidan about being an idiot
Thats why we are having issues on the mega
Christine on the families insufficient cellular data plan being overused
"He does get me going. When he is throwing touchdowns...Man I'm steamin'...When Aaron Rodgers is mad I get real hot."
Brady on the Green Bay quarterback
"I'm into a very viscous nasty"
After hacking up a massive Mucous concoction from his nose and throat (griff)